Lucky for me, my future wife has not-ugly friends. Tonight I get the wonderous pleasure of escorting 4 lovely ladies out for a night on the town, Ron Burgundy-style! If you’re planning on going out, don’t meet up with us if you’re a guy, because these girls have eyes for only one guy: Jesus. I’ve heard them say it many times.

I think I’m more pumped about the pre-gaming, because I love being able to hear my own thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing drunk bitches dance when they have no motor function; who doesn’t? And I can never get over the guy who thinks he has a chance, while he robotically maneuvers behind her just as he practiced in the mirror. However, I do occasionally enjoy the company of others, and finding out how I can make fun of them in public. Call me old fashioned.

Tonight’s extravaganza is a 4-parter: Dinner with Me + Kristin, Kelly + Erica, Kare-bear and drinking, followed by more drinking at KellErica’s place; then the ladies are going to go pick up Lindsay at the airport and meet up with Asian-type girl. Then we’ll all travel to the CosmoLavaSex club and do things that only fiction writers think about. How posh.

If we’re sober enough to remember a camera, you might catch a spot of our luscious lifestyles. Ta-ta