According to police, a boy has confessed to starting the fires in San Diego, which have destroyed homes, businesses and lives over the past 10 days. CNN.com reports that the boy admitted playing with matches and eventually starting a fire in the same area where the San Diego fires began.

What a bummer to be this kid, eh? When my uncles were young they did something similar. They were striking matches in the woods near their home, then they would see who could stamp them out the fastest. They ended up starting a huge fire and burning down a good chunk of the woods before it was contained. Of course it was nothing like the 38,526 this kid is responsible for, not to mention the lives he’s cost and havc he’s brought.

My uncles got a good old fashioned beating. I’m not sure what this kid will get. The article leads us to believe there will possibly be charges brought against him. I could put myself in his place, and, depending on his age, I’d feel extremely confused, embarrassed and sorry for my stupid actions. While he is a kid and it’s completely his fault, one wonders if the parents were very strict on the “don’t be a pyromaniac” message. I went through the same phase when I was younger. I used to constantly be playing with matches, lighters, blowtorches, etc. Anything flame-related that I could get my hands on. I never burned myself too badly, but I did cause a few insects and amphibians quite a bit of agony.

I’m sure when he grows up he’ll be able to wrap his head around what he did. Hell it might send him into a depressive state, then cause him to become a philanthropist and active in community service and volunteer for housing projects. I guess that’s best scenario. The worst would be that he did it on purpose and he continues to do it. He could play it innocent until it happens one time too many, then some savvy lawyer would get on the case and crack his warped brain. Then finally, the kid will slip up and admit that he’s really the Bic Lighter Killer! Then they could make a movie in 15 years or so and call it Pyro Fear. Where do I come up with this stuff? Genius.

Here’s a movie poster I mocked up. Took me about 4 hours, especially drawing Richard Gere in there.