Probably the most annoying sight on the road is to be stuck behind someone on their cell phone.  There’s been a study that concluded that using a cell phone while driving is worse than driving drunk (is it just me or is that basically permission to drive drunk?  Come on Uncle Sam).  Many cities have banned cell phones in city limits, and every time I see someone on their cell phone holding up traffic, I want to throw Molotov cocktails at their car.

Cell phones have ruined communication, in my opinion, by making it constant.  Who the hell wants to talk to someone all the time anyway?  Even those people who have a bluetooth headset cemented into their ear don’t use it all the time.  Do they?  Speaking of those morons, they look like total idiots with pieces of metal and plastic flashing in their ear.  They look like they’re getting ready for a rave.

The on-phone-while-driving offense is possibly the worst.  I’d give it a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being “I would like to put nails through all of your toes.”  It’s worse than the women who can’t get up early enough to put makeup on, so they do it in the car; it’s worse than the Asian guy or the Michiganite who won’t get out of the left lane even though they’re doing 40; it’s worse than old people.  That’s really saying something.  Driving while on a cell phone is worse than old people.  If you’re driving, on a cell phone and old then you better do a 180 next time you see me coming, because I’ll plow into you.

The sheer inconsideration of a driver blabbing on their phone is infuriating alone.  They’re blatantly ignoring all other drivers, the road, brake lights, signs and Martians.  They’re saying “I’m way too involved with myself and my personal life to give you the courtesy of me paying attention to my four tires, two of which are in your lane.”  If I had a ray gun that gave people cancer, I’d use it on the fingers of people I saw cell phone-driving.  Finger cancer is not only shitty because you have 10 fingers, it forces you to stop using a cell phone.  For that matter, it forces you to take the bus, which is probably safer for us all.